I’ve given up, I’m giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last call that You mentioned is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up I’m doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

BLACK=Mary   YELLOW=Lauren

ok guyz.. i know yall are both talking about me in sme form or fashion so why dont u tlak to me instead of just talking to eachother bc personally id much rather u talk to me than to eachother behind my back.. btw i really dont care if its good crap or bad crap, please stop tlaking about me behind my back and come to me about it!

okay first of all, we weren`t talking
about you behind your back, & even if
we were, you wouldn`t have any way of
knowing for sure. so you can`t say you
KNOW we`re talking about you, just like
she shouldn`t have said she KNOWS you
were pissed. the only thing i`ve said
to her on the phone about you/this was
reading her these comments because she`s
not on the computer and she asked me if
you wrote back. and you can`t get mad at
us for not talking to you about this...
you specifically said you didn`t want to
talk about it. so that`s like saying we
shouldn`t talk about it if you don`t want
to (we didn`t) but you`re allowed to get
mad at us anyway for not coming to you.

i agree with jordan though, you`re
like my sister and i love you and
i don`t know what i`d do without you
and you know that (i hope). all 3 of
us have grown apart lately, but it`s
not only because of me & jordan. you
barely ever talk to us anymore, when
you`re mad especially. just PLEASE
talk to us. we love you and we don`t
want to lose your friendship....♥

i dont like to tell yall when im mad at yall bc jr will most likely either side withme and then go talk to u about it, but when i try to talk to u you always say "we need to all 3 get together and work things out.." and that never acctually happens bc when we have tried b4 you and jr just kinda stopped being serious and i didnt wanna tlak to either of u about it anymore(tlaking about choir tour) and yea i know i need to talk to yall but i really dont wanna do it over the fone bc im afraid im guna start crying.. i am so afraid im gunna lose yall over this and that would be so aweful! but yes.. i do need to talk to yall ok? and btw u shouldnt get mad at me for "assuming" yall were tlaking about me bc i sure both of yall have prolly assumed i was mad at yall for hang ing out so much.. umm no. i was mad bc everytime i try to get yall to do sumthing with me(either of u so neither can deny it) yall cant ever do it bc yall are either "too tired" "dont want to" or "cleaning and have to do hw" or "too much hw" so it just kinda ticked me off when yall IN FRONT OF ME decided to do sumthin and didnt ask me or even get away from me when u did it. thats what made me mad..

i didn`t assume anything about you
being mad. that`s why i asked you
why you were, so i obviously didn`t
assume that you got mad because we
were spending time together. well
just forget that anyway. & you can`t
get mad at us for havin too much hw.
that`s not our fault..but we were
gonna do something anyway we just
changed our minds about what we were
gonna do. and i couldn`t invite you
to her house, that`s her decision...
but i don`t want to lose either of
y`all over this either. how do you
think we`re gonna work it out if we
don`t do it together though? we`re not.

#1 im not specifically tlaking to u.. im tlakign to both of yall since this is her journal
#2 u arent gunna lose her if u lose anyone, ill be the one u lose
#3 ok well if we are gunna try ot work this out then i want to be serious not laughing

STOP!!  mary, we WERE NOT talking about you. i dont want to lose yall. i wish i had a boyfriend because he would be over here right now getting me through this. i love my friends and all but from what is just listed above i am obveously not being a good friend! i AM NOT MAD i am just confuzzled:(

AHHHHAHHHHH AHHHHH